/o-596815/n/xenophobe-s-guide-to-the-japanese)
Extracts from the book
Group dynamics
Everyone is part of some group and the group comes first. Inside this group, everyone has more or less the same understanding and the same attitudes. As the saying goes, 'The nail that sticks up will be hammered down'.
Can't say, won't say
The Japanese are trained throughout their lives to read each others' minds. This means it is not necessary to have or to express an opinion. In fact for a Japanese woman to be called opinionated is worse than being called ugly. And an exact translation of the word 'opinionated' does not even exist. To call a man 'decisive' is just as bad.
Haiku IQ
The quintessence of unspoken mutual understanding is to be found in the word yoroshiku: 'You have understood what I want you to do. I have understood that you have understood what I want you to do. Therefore I leave it up to you to finish the task and I expect it to be done in the way I want it to be done. And I thank you for understanding me and agreeing to take the trouble to do the task.' All this in four syllables.
Love me tender
For all the apparent worship of the way of the warrior, being yasashii, which means being gentle, tender, caring, yielding and considerate, is very important in Japan. Asked what a Japanese values most in a potential spouse, both sexes tend to put being being yasashii at the top of their list of desirable virtues. The concept is even applied to the inanimate. For instance, a car or shampoo can be yasashii to you, to the eye, and to the environment.
Group dynamics
Everyone is part of some group and the group comes first. Inside this group, everyone has more or less the same understanding and the same attitudes. As the saying goes, 'The nail that sticks up will be hammered down'.
Can't say, won't say
The Japanese are trained throughout their lives to read each others' minds. This means it is not necessary to have or to express an opinion. In fact for a Japanese woman to be called opinionated is worse than being called ugly. And an exact translation of the word 'opinionated' does not even exist. To call a man 'decisive' is just as bad.
Haiku IQ
The quintessence of unspoken mutual understanding is to be found in the word yoroshiku: 'You have understood what I want you to do. I have understood that you have understood what I want you to do. Therefore I leave it up to you to finish the task and I expect it to be done in the way I want it to be done. And I thank you for understanding me and agreeing to take the trouble to do the task.' All this in four syllables.
Love me tender
For all the apparent worship of the way of the warrior, being yasashii, which means being gentle, tender, caring, yielding and considerate, is very important in Japan. Asked what a Japanese values most in a potential spouse, both sexes tend to put being being yasashii at the top of their list of desirable virtues. The concept is even applied to the inanimate. For instance, a car or shampoo can be yasashii to you, to the eye, and to the environment.
